Miss you, Bartolome..

If there's one significant person in my life na gusto kong pasalamatan ngayon, it would be JOBART BENEDITO, aka "Bartolome" (ika ko nga at ng mama ko) na simula't simula pa lang e palaging anjan, never ako/kaming iniwan sa kahit anong scenario sa buhay ko.

He is someone I never thought I'd be comfortable with kasi mas lamang ang takot ko sa kanya more than anything else. heheh. Pamatay naman kasi ung tingin niya eh. Sabi nga nila, kung nakakamatay ang tingin, siguradong madami na siyang napatay.

I met Bart nung second college kami. It was way back FEU days and that was early summer of year 2000. I find him cool although tahimik lang at bihira magsalita. Mysterioso ang dating. In fairness, magaling siyang sumayaw at intelligent sobra! Walking wikipedia yan eh. ahaha..We had a lot of momentos. French fries moment, spanish bread moment, flowers, and more..

I never thought we'd be as close as brothers and sisters. No joke. No exaggeration, parang kapatid ko na 'yan si Bart. Andami na din namin na-try alagaan. Fishes and plants. In fairness, nakabuhay naman kami, un nga lang, na-torture nung mga students ko. Dead. Iniyakan ko ung mga pet fishes namin at simula nun, natakot na kong mag-alaga ulit. Takot akong mamatayan ulit. May separation anxiety ako eh.

Eversince our world began (hehehe) never akong pinabayaan nitong aking napakabuting kaibigan. I consider him one of my guy bestfriends kaso nga lang, di ko ma-express kasi natatakot akong my actions would mean different for him. And that's what I'm trying to avoid all these years. He's the ultimate guy na alam kong mamahalin ko bilang BEST among my guy bestfriends and as my brother na rin. In fairness, marami nga ang nag-aakalang magkapatid kami. Lalo na sila ng kapatid ko, magkamuka na raw kami e.

Spoiler din siya at masamang binibiro. He was able to make my birthdays special. May sarili ciang ways. Minsan na niyang ginamit si Arfel (all-time bestfriend niya) para sa kwela - met Arfel twice ata. Nung special flower delivery at nung binigay ni Bart si Papa Bear (which I named "TinyBartow.") - flowers, bouquets, chocolates, etc. There were times din na ni-surprise niya ako with goodies (chuckie, chips, at ung iba pang mga fave ko). Nung may sakit ako, he kept us company. He also used to cook for us. 'Yung pasalubong niyang longganisa at pansit habhab from Lucban. haaay..at marami pa..

Many situations sa buhay ko, UPS and DOWNS, JOYS and TEARS, etc, etc...andun cia. He knows me very well, inside out. As in. Maraming times na sinamahan niya ko sa pagpupuyat.

► Walang tulugan matapos lang ung mga props para sa kamp (OC pa naman ako),

► Walang tulugan sa pagtapos ng mga labahin ko (as in mga damit KO),

► Walang tulugan sa paglilinis ng bahay (lalo na nung naglilipat-bahay kami), * Walang tulugan sa pagpipintura ng walls ng bahay (sobrang na-enjoy ko to!),

► Walang tulugan sa paglilinis ng kwarto ko (in fairness, ilang beses na nyang ni-request na itapon ko na ung mga baubot ko pero ayaw ko!),

► Walang tulugan sa pagbabantay sa panganganak ni blackjack,

► Walang tulugan sa paggawa ng projects ng mga kapatid ko at ng iba pang studs ko

► Walang tulugan kakasoundtrip - sangkatutak ng ni-burn niyang CDs ng mga fave songs ko

► Walang tulugan sa pagssurf sa internet

► at maraming marami pa....

Sobrang patient din sakin yan si Bartolome. He knows when to speak and when to listen kahit wala akong sinasabi. He knows my mood and handles my mood swings well. Maraming text momentos, inartihan blues. Lahat ng drama ko sa buhay alam niya. Anytime na kailangan ko ng tulong, kahit hndi ako magsabi, dumarating siya. Kapag tinotopak ako, wala ciang ginagawa pero anjan lang cia. Di siya umaalis sa tabi ko.

He knows kapag masaya ako, he knows kapag iiyak na ako. He knows kapag kaya ko ang situation or kapag nagtatapang tapangan lang ako. Haaay..hindi ko ma-express how thankful I am. He is perfectly a man any woman would wish for. No doubt about it.

I'm so lucky to have you Bart and again, for the nth time, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything that you've done not only for me but for my family as well. Gaya nga ng sabi ko before, hindi lang notebook ang mapupuno ko sa list ng ipagpapasalamat ko sayo, db? I hope you know how important you are to me although I know I wasn't able to make you feel what I truly feel. I'm s0o0 sorry if I've been SELFISH with what I really feel. I just don't know how to be myself as I know I can't equal what you feel for me. All I know is that I can be a friend / sister / bestfriend to you. You are special to me. Very special. Believe me.

Thank you so much for loving me silently all these years without expecting anything in return. I know that. I felt it. Know that I appreciate everything and I'll always be forever grateful for having blessed with someone like you in my life...

I hope and pray you'd find someone who'll love you exactly the way you should be loved..someone willing to give their heart and soul to you, someone who'll never hurt you, someone who'll never make you cry. I sincerely hope, you’d find someone who’ll be the one that I could never be.

I know I have had hurt you multiple times already but know that I didn't mean it. You have given much, Bart. You deserve to be happy. I completely understand that it's never easy for you to go as I feel the same. But deep in my heart I know this is the kindest thing to do.

For me, this is the hardest thing to do especially because we have established the friendship I've been longing for all my life. I just don't wanna lose you and it kills me but I guess, this would help you grow and find your way..basta, andito lang ako..

May the good Lord bless you with a life and love you deserve...

PS:

Hope you had a very

HAPPY BIRTHDAY..